Howdy all!
Its been a good while, hasn't it? I've got catching up to do. This blog was hard on my mind for weeks, no months now. lol. So! Today is the day!
Where did I leave off? Oh yes, Covid. It took until mid April but guess what? I was able to kick out the last two symptoms. No more sunburn rash weirdness, no more hair loss. I didn't know if I would lose some of it or loose it all, but just in case it started looking crummy, I decided to have it cut off as short as I could go (while still being able to slip it back into a ponytail for work). I didn't want to see it go to the trash can so I donated it before it possibly came to that point. I also made up my mind to have it highlighted for summer. I told the lady to have fun and no unicorn colors! She had a good laugh about that. I got to thinking, what's the worst that would come out of it? Not liking it? With my hair falling out, that was laughable. My hair would grow back. Caramel highlights is what I got and I do like it. My sense of taste came back about the end of March and the ability to smell came back a week after that. It was odd as I thought they would come back together, but I'm glad to have both again. I'm one of those that cooks with their senses, not by measurements.
I decided to see a nutritionist as the stress caused my body to start emptying... which isn't a fun digestion issue. I lost ten pounds. Surprisingly, not only were we able to restart my digestion on the right track, my energy came back, and I haven't had one issue with Gerd since I started week 2 of the plan we made (very nice). While the weight gain is much slower than I would like, my nutritionist is right- Eating right and establishing a good digestive health is the key to feeling good, weight gain will follow that. I followed the plan strictly (until recently, when coffee was taken off the menu - I'm fighting with that one, its not easy). Its been 3 months now. The difference is outstanding. I have more energy than I've had in several years. Everyone around me says I'm much more alert than before I began this plan. I am glad I chose to do it. I'm still following it although my last appointment was last week. I intend to keep going because I have my sights on good health. I have a goal too: 2 weeks without 1 nap. I believe more than ever that I'm approaching that goal. I've been missing naps, which is amazing! (Having a choice to fall asleep is one thing, I'm ok with that. Not having a choice and losing the daily fight with napping is not. It gets old, quickly.) When I do meet the goal, I can go hiking again. I can go swimming. I can go mountain biking. In moderation. Not all at once. :P To get there, coffee has to go. It is making my already taxed adrenals work too hard. I keep reminding myself that its worth it. I've just got to put my foot down and say no. I want to be as healthy and strong as I can be. I found a few alternatives to coffee and I'll start doing those. I'm sure I'll fumble around, make mistakes, but guess what the best part about slipping is? I can stand right back up and keep going. And I intend to. The bible doesn't say I can do some things through Christ that makes me strong, it says all things. And all means all.
I decided among all this, that I would get the ball rolling on fixing my teeth. An important step that I have wanted to make for about 5 years now. I am excited to be out from underneath the weight of debt that quite frankly, I was told would swallow me alive and I'd never get rid of. I paid off every last penny of it this year. Its done. And it feels... every bit as amazing as I thought it would be. I've been saving up since then to pay for the down payment on the dental surgery (the rest will go through a loan that I have already been approved for). The surgery is out of pocket, being labeled as cosmetic, so its going to cost some pretty nice shiny pennies, that's for sure. And its going to feel quite similar to a hot burn. I won't be able to talk for 2 weeks. But, it will be worth it in the end. Silly, but my favorite goal out of this will be- I'll be able to sink my teeth into an uncut apple without breaking my teeth. No more slicing up apples in order to eat them. I'll be able to eat confidently. God gave me this body, I'm going to take care of it the best I can. :)
I finished my last physical therapy for my twisted leg. I now walk straight. Where at first, it felt terribly uncomfortable and strange, now I'm adjusting to my new way of walking. Time and practice. Lots of it. And exercises. It reminds me near daily of what a friend told me once- that it was just like when God gets a hold of our lives, and its uncomfortable at first, so very different, but we trust in Him and we follow Him. There is a plan for us, for good. And it begins to happen, what was crooked and twisted begins to straighten. We don't walk that old painful path we once walked (I had so many twisted ankles), we walk a new Path, a far better one. Where once there was weakness and susceptibility, now there is strength and it is secure. Its a continuous effort for both of these things- It takes Walking. :)
The next part of my story is called Stretching the comfort zones and defeating the villain of fear.
Really.
I found out while I'm expanding my horizons and slowly chipping away at my list of things I've never done before, without thinking, I've also added limitations. Limitations that I enforce because I'm scared to do them for some reason or another. Write and publish a novel? I'm scared. I want to, I really want it and have always dreamed of it. There are ways to make it happen. Yet I think about how scared I am, instead of the excitement that yes, I can make it happen. Since when did fear start trying to rule this life? Do you know what people say they regret at the end of their lives? It isn't what they did wrong, its this: What they didn't do. Hearing that said, I couldn't help but think about what I've yet to do: my books. I was also asked to teach something I knew a little bit about and my instant response was to shy away from it and point to someone who knew far more. I missed something that I noticed later, but the moment was gone. Hey now! God didn't give me a spirit of fear! Aren't I to be victorious? So I may not know as much as the person over there does, the fact is- I do know some things. So teaching in public isn't my gift, coming along side people is... and what if the one leads to the other? How many times in the Bible does it say not to fear? Not to be afraid? If I don't step out, what opportunities are being missed? Even the ones that look insignificant can lead to something that is a treasure in Heaven, a good thing that God wanted us to do. While I get my health in order, I'm trying to get my mind in order too. I think its harder than ignoring the call of coffee, but it can be done! I know I'll slip up time and again... but know what? I'll get back up. I'll start again. Keep striving continually. God is the strength of my heart (Psalms 73:26). In all things, its the focus that matters. In the Bible, Peter walked out to Jesus on the water. Looking at the waves in fear made Peter sink in the water, but if you notice - they walked back to the boat. Its a process of continual reminders- don't focus on the things of this world. Focus on Jesus.
Fear? It has come to this day. It's time to meet The Sword.
"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." - Philippians 4:13
2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
Until next time,
May you rest securely in His Words, take up the full armor and let your eyes be fixed on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2).
~UnashamedtoShine
