I'm back! It's been a goodly while hasn't it? I hope you've all kept well and that your Christmas and New Years were peaceful and nice. :)
There is so much that has happened in my journey since the start of my medical avalanche. Good times and hard times both. In it all, I can see God's provision throughout. Not one thing that I truly needed went unprovided. Several things that I thought I needed (they were wants really), I discovered I didn't need after all. I can’t thank those who dropped off groceries on my porch enough as of recently. I’m well supplied and I can’t think of anything that I need currently (other than I need to get better lol!). I’m thankful for all who offered to help.
Yes, I have Covid. And yes, I know where I got it. Dad brought it home and then Mom got it. I was outnumbered. I woke up with it on the 3rd of December. I never got a fever, nor did either of them. I was the only one to get a rash in my mouth (that’s what cued me in that it was not my typical sore throat cold). They are better, officially cleared from quarantine and back at work. I’m still in quarantine, a list of symptoms still present and accounted for. My doctor asked me if I knew what a Covid long hauler is. When I said I did, they said good because I am one. Day 32 currently. I’ve been off work using my vacation hours (which is not a problem, I have more than I can use). Crummy vacation though. Can I get a refund? lol.
I thought that while I was down, I would work on writing and learning ASL via Youtube videos. I could also catch up on a stack of books that were just waiting for me. What I didn’t count on was the surprisingly thick brain fog that would dash all those great ideas to a fine powder and blow them away. The brain fog was as mean as being winded and heavily fatigued. Simple things like getting dressed, making a bed, getting a shower in- became huge tasks that left me drained for the remainder of the day. I’ve been spending my time chatting with friends via the internet (talking on the phone leaves me feeling out of breath and fatigued quickly), looking up and sharing memes, and playing a video game that’s live courtesy of the internet. I’ve shared the gospel 4 times through chats, which God knows what He will do with that, I just planted seeds. I may not be able to do much but I can still do something. :)
I’m hopeful to return to work next week, but I know it won’t be easy. I’m easily out of breath and still have other symptoms, like covid toes (hard to walk and painful). Its far beyond 14 days, which is the CDC requirement for quarantining. I’ll be calling the doctor to see it would be a good idea to return to work in this current state. Time will tell all. I miss my coworkers and from what I hear, they have been missing my being there too. I mean, who is going to count down to Christmas (there are 355 days to go), bring up songs to fit the conversations, and lighten the day, not to mention being such a hard worker? That made me smile to hear. As did the flowers and card that my boss had everyone sign. That was brought by with soup. Butternut Squash soup is so far the easiest thing for me to eat. I can’t smell at all and the only tastes I have is tasting salt and this phantom flavor of sweet clover honey (which is incredibly strange when I drink coffee and my brain is telling me via my tastes that its salted clover honey). The level of weirdness goes up when I am eating steak and potatoes. Why does that taste like salted honey? O.o Eating has become a game of textures instead of flavors. I have no idea when I will regain my ability to taste or smell, or if it will be the same as it used to be.
I decided to try to battle the brain fog by putting together a puzzle. Admittedly, for one who is very good at puzzles, I am struggling to assemble this one. I’m unwilling to give up and piece by piece, effort upon effort, its coming together. The last piece isn’t going to slide into place though… the dog chewed it up. Yep, she’s left her mark on this Christmas puzzle. I’m hopeful to complete the remainder of puzzle before next week. I’ll also attempt to pick up a book from my stack of things to read. I’m hopeful to be able to remember beyond a paragraph of context. I’m not one to give up. Slowly pulling myself up to my feet. I’ll get there too. It’s just a matter of when.
I ordered seeds for this year’s garden. I heard of the race to buy up seeds (much like the toilet paper craze), and slipped in my order just as things began to go out of stock. Made it with a few modifications to my list – some things I really wanted went out of stock. Life marches on! I’ll keep a watch for restocking and if I can’t get them, then there is always next year. I know seed companies are working hard right now. I’m sure they are doing all they can to meet the high demands. Lots of talk about Victory Gardens. I’m not worried about what the future will bring, I’m simply growing a garden as I do every year. It brings me joy. Funny- when I began that journey, I was presented gardening by my doctor as a replacement to hiking. My energy couldn’t support hiking, and with gardening, I could take breaks or stop for the day at any point. I remember laughing in humor at the thought of me being a gardener. Me? Garden? I killed everything I touch! I’ll never forget his words, “What will you gain if you don’t try?” Yeah, nothing. So I tried. And yes, everything died, but I was desperate so I tried again. And wouldn’t you know it, something grew. I felt this satisfied smile light on my face and I realized something – gardening wasn’t about having a green thumb at all, it was all based on what I knew and what I didn’t. My garden grew leaps and bounds. While I do miss hiking, gardening fills that void and gives me a very similar quiet satisfaction. When people ask what my favorite room in the house is, I don’t even hesitate- it’s the garden.
Oh! I forgot to say: A lot of people have been asking me if I am afraid of Covid. No, I’m not. I’ll tell you why- God is in complete control and my trust is in Him. He planned my path and I know that no matter what I go through, He’s with me and His plans for me are for good. I’ve been through many sicknesses and conditions. The two things I learned are these- Keep your focus on God, everything else will go into place according to His will. And you don’t have to be strong- God loves to use the weakest of people to show His strength. He supplies the strength that we need to do all that He asks us to do.
As much as I would love to stay and chat, I should do some more breathing exercises and rest a bit. Until next time, God bless!
Matthew 14:25-33, 2 Corinthians 12:9, Romans 5:1-21, Ephesians 2:8-10.
